Update on my Sienna!

Good morning, girls!

I had to let you know about my van.  I know it has been on your mind the past couple of months:), and I have been meaning to get this post written so I could set all of you at ease.  Well, here's the ending of the Sienna story:

One evening as Peter and I were driving to my daughter's house in my new car, I said out loud:  "I wonder if I will ever see the Sienna around?"  Peter kind of squirmed in his seat a moment and then simply replied to my question..."No, it's not in the country.  I didn't want to tell you because I thought it would upset you."  After my new car was bought Peter told me the Subaru was the easiest car he ever bought (all online) but the most difficult car he ever replaced (my fault because I was such an emotional head case).  I assumed that the van probably went south of our border, so I told Peter I was fine with the van going to Mexico.  I just wanted a family to enjoy it.  To this comment Peter finally let it out...my van was not in the country...not even on the continent...it was being shipped to Dubai in Middle East!!!  He explained that the larger families in the Middle East have created a huge demand for these vans.  NO WAY!!!!  Can it possibly get ANY better than that?????  My van...my prayer and worship chapel for the past decade was in a Muslim country!!!  Oh, my gosh!!!  

I tell you, girls, I can't help but believe that the Holy Spirit lingers in places where He has been called upon over and over.  So in my imagination I keep seeing scenes and I can't help but smile with the thought of them.  Can you imagine a Muslim family driving down the road in my prayer closet when from the back their little one asks out of the blue;  "Who's Jesus, Mommy?"  Or begins humming a worship song?  Or a verse from the Bible keeps running through their minds?  Isn't that just too good to be true?

God is in control.  He has a plan...even for old Sienna vans:)  We can rest in this.  I just had to share this little bit of my joy.

Love to you...

Cherri

Solved Comment Posting Problem...I Hope!

Hi Girls!

I have been working on solving the comment posting problem we have had in the past, and was given a "quick fix," so I hope it works!  It would be nice to have this ONE thing in life be as simple as it seems, wouldn't it?  There is only one way to find out...try to post a comment to this post and let's see what happens.  I am trying to work out all the bugs before we start Choose Joy in a couple of weeks.

God bless you during these lovely (though a bit windy) spring days, my friends!!

Love to you...

Cherri

The Mother-Daughter Duet

Hello, my sweet sisters!


I just finished reading a book by Cheri Fuller and Ali Plum entitled Mother-Daughter Duet:  Getting to the Relationship You Want with Your Adult Daughter, and there are few books on my shelves that have more highlighting and notes written in the margins than this one.  This book has changed me, and honest to goodness, it better because I have NO non-adult daughters in my home any longer.  I needed this book for each of these precious relationships that I have with my girls.  But to tell you the truth, I am sometimes my own worst enemy because of what Cheri Fuller calls my "mother monster thing," or also known as the mother bear heart.  She states in her book that it is this very thing that moves a mother to lift cars off their children, but also moves us to the unhealthy and the crazy.  I can tell you that my "mother monster thing" has reacted out of fear and insecurity in ways that are down right ridiculous, often hurtful and even at times embarrassing...not to mention stupid and just flat-out coo-koo.  


Let me say this in my defense...I am WAY better than I used to be.  God has been "shutting me up" for awhile now and this book was another of His ways to let me know that , "Yes, indeed, it is His voice speaking and leading in the relationships with my girls."  Every once in awhile I wonder..."Would God REALLY tell me to 'shut my mouth?'"  Yep, yep, yep, He would...because I have asked Him to guide me through this uncharted territory in my life, and He knows it's this mouth of mine that gets me in most of my troubles!


 One my friends messaged me on Facebook and said, "I heard you read a book about mother/daughter relationships that is kicking your butt...could you let me know the title, I think I need my butt kicked."  So many of us struggle in the one relationship that you would think would be the easiest, after all, they are women like us and even more astonishing is the fact that we raised them...you'd think the relating to each other would be as easy as breathing in and out.  But that just isn't so because there are a zillion dynamics that enter the picture.  Things we said, or didn't say...things we did, or didn't do, things others said, or didn't say, things others did or didn't do, traumatic moments came and were out of our control...so, so many variables.  We honestly didn't stand a chance.  We live in this fallen, fallen world...and it hurts us and the girls we love with all the "mother monster thing" within us.  Truly, "my mother monster thing" needed a good butt kicking, and Cheri and Ali graciously obliged.


So let me give you a few teasers.  These are just a handful of the bits of wisdom I gleaned from this book.  Some of them were revelatory to me, others I knew but needed some encouragement in the right direction.  


1.  There is nothing more healing or building for a relationship then having fun together.  Here's the tricky part:  "Having fun" for your daughter may not be "fun" for you; HOWEVER, I bet all of you who have adult daughters would agree with me that You'd be willing to enjoy just about anything to laugh and smile with your girl.  


2.  My daughters' spiritual journeys are THEIR spiritual journeys and should be respected.  It is time to let them walk out their faith.  We have taught them, prayed for them, advised them, encouraged them all through their growing years...now it is time to let the seeds we have sown be watered by the Holy Spirit as He walks with them through their adult lives.  One of the profound moments I had in this book was when Ali spoke about mothers of faith who when it comes to their daughters dissolve into women of little faith fretting, nagging and even trying to manipulate their daughters to the spiritual journey they see as ideal.


3.  Constantly telling your daughter you are "praying for her" can make your daughter feel like you think she is such a mess that she needs your continual prayers.  I thought about this a lot and came to the conclusion that this is an area where discernment is really needed.  In some cases it may give your daughter comfort to know you are praying for her, in others, it may come across as manipulation and maybe even a little bit a condemnation and judgement.  I will try to check my motives before I say anything about prayer to my girls.  I do know this...prayer is a powerful way to be "present" in your daughter's life and it doesn't have to be talked about in order to have a positive impact on them.


4.  When we are wrong, apologize without any excuses.  No "but" or "because."  


5.  Be open and not overly sensitive.  This reminded me of the lesson I learned as I read the book, The Bait of Satan, which was about how offense causes so many problems in our relationships with each other and with God.  As moms we really do need tougher skin as our children grow into adulthood.  


I am going to end this post with a quote from Harriet Lerner: 


 "One great gift a mother can give to her daughter is to live her own life as well as possible." 


And that, my dear fellow moms of daughters and sisters of the heart, is the bottom line to it all, isn't it? 


Have a lovely Mother's Day and may you and your family be blessed!


With love....


Cherri